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God almighty, seriously having the worst week possible right now :( cried myself to sleep every night so far! Just really want everything to end and go back to the way they were :( and for the complete dicks who seem to be getting enjoyment out of my pain - just actually get to fuck and leave us alone to sort things!!! :(:( just maing things worse :( really cant deal with much more crap! Just wanna run away get drunk and so something stupid like skinnydipping! Only no one else would be there cos i just wanna be myself so really id just be going for a naked swim to my own :(
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Ruined everything again. And it’s for good this time. Fantastico !
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My new tumblr for my phone is called tumbly hehe
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craig is home on Tuesday night
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Oh god, Ibiza is tomorrow. Lord, please have mercy on me. Would be much appreciated!
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Loneliness
I feel like crap :( I feel like everyone is ditching me and I’m on my own. mum and dad and charlotte have been away for 2 weeks, natalie has barely been in the house and crags only stayed 3 times. I’ve text some of my friends to come round and no one gets back to me :( I feel so lonely. I keep crying because no one is here to see it. And then craig goes to Ibiza on Saturday sonthats me being left again :( I hate this feeling I just want to have people around me who care about me and want to talk to me. And what annoys me even more is that craig knows I hate being in the house on my own and he literally shoved me on the bus home :( so I sat from 5.45 till 11 by myself doing nothing :( thanks to everyone who has ditched me recently :( made me feel GREAT.
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fuck craig goes to Ibiza in like a week. I am going to cry like a baby :(
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sometimes you just have to wonder…
why one girl is just not good enough for a guy :/ everytime i go on craigs facebook theres more girls hes added/accepted and half the time he doesnt even know them. and whenever i ask he goes off in a wee rant at me :/ i dont know what to say i just want to know why im not good enough anymore. i feel like i am a big lump of overweight fatty and nothing i can do is getting rid of it :( i try my hardest to look good but it always goes un-noticed i thi nk he has told me once in about the last month that he thought i looked good or gave me a compliment :(
ive been hurt already so much and i cant deal with it anymore. I just want to know where im going wrong. I know im overprotective - i am terrified i lose him for the simple fact theres always other girls milling about and it just bugs me!
fair enough if he knows them and that but even then half of them have claimed stuff or are all over him whenever we go out :/ hence why we never go out together anymore :( i actually just want to scream and shout until he understands.
the past couple of days ive been really quiet i cant even find a conversation with my friends never mind him and he keeps asking what wrong. i mean what am i meant to say that the person i love is the one making me feel like this? i want to book us a wee night away but even that is a drama cos he doesnt want to do that :/ i just want to spend a bit of proper us time with him before he goes to ibiza (which im not even going to get started on!)
even last night when i wanted a kiss and cuddle that was a problem. i actually dont feel wanted. we only do things when he wants and the way he wants. everything is upto him and then he gets annoyed at me when i get annoyed cos I wanted to do something and doesnt.
he always says to me what do YOU want to do? I WANT TO GO ON A WEE WEEKEND AWAY. I actually dont know how many times i have said that and he still wont :( SOMEONE SHOW HIM THIS AND MAKE HIM REALISE :(:(
im really not a happy chappy right now i want a big cuddle and a cry and a bottle of wine and some ice cream and a chinese! i wish i could run away for a while and come back feeling all fresh and happy again :(
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shhhh!
natalie is off to magaluf tonight thanks fuck! Wee week of peace:-) if she hurries up and gets out the basterding door :-| all I’m hearing is “now make sure you do this” and “make sure you put cream on!” AND she has literally been given her spending money :-| I had to save up so bloody much! I wasn’t even allow my basterding bank card so I wouldn’t spend any of it :-| RAGE. I just wish she would hurry up and bloody well go so we can get a minutes peace about it! I went last year an I was fine! and I’m not exactly the brightest! just want a big rant a big hug and big huge bar of chocolate and watch a gushy film with hot guys and then have some really good sex :-) that sounds amazing. but oh wait all of a sudden craig can’t perform and only satisfies his own needs so thats that out the window aswell :-( I can not wait to move out of my house! also when I go and work in IBIZA next summer :) fuck the lot of you’s! :D
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I actually can’t believe my own boyfriend just told me that he has to rely on his friends to make sure he doesn’t go with a girl on a night out win he’s drunk. that fucking hurt.
